Lili is FOUR

Yesterday we celebrated Lili's forth birthday. When I asked her to think about what she might like as a gift she told me not to worry about it because she had everything she needed. Bless her heart. However we did get her a few little things. We don't do lots of gifts anyway, instead we spend money on doing something fun and creating memories together instead.

Lili wanted to go to the hot springs again for her birthday but we had just been a couple of months ago and it was going to be quite warm so we chose to go to the Enchanted Garden and Maze. It was a 90 min drive out of the city. The kids really enjoyed themselves but I think we would have all enjoyed it more if we had all had a proper sleep the night before. Everyone was super tired. The kids loved going down the tube slides the best.

After we had been at the park we drove down to the beach. Lili and Ammon were asleep so I stayed in the car with them while Aarahi and Auron went down for the first swim of Summer. It was a beautiful 25 degrees. In a few month or so that kind of weather will be cause for putting a jacket on but for now its hot enough for swimming! Lili and Ammon woke up after an hour or so and joined in the swimming. The water was beautiful and crystal clear but freeeezing. Kids don't care about cold water though.

We ended the day with fish and chips and a walk along the pier. A lady then rang Aarahi to tell him they had picked up one of our bags we had left in the carpark. It had EVERYTHING in it. My phone, ipad, wallet, camera and passport. My phone only had like 3% battery left on it so they luckily were able to get Aarahi's number and call. What a blessing that was. There are still good people out there! We got home just before 9pm a full 13 hours after we left.

Primary Presentation and Trunk or Treat 2016

Last Sunday the kids had their primary presentation at church. If you aren't sure what that is, it is where the kids all get a chance to say a little part up the front and sing some songs. Lili and Auron both did well saying their parts but someone stood on Lili's foot during the first song and that was her finished. She went and sat down in the front row with Marcelle. Auron got to sing "I love to see the temple" in a little group...when I say sing I mean mouth the majority of the words haha. It's the experience that counts though. It is terrifying enough for an adult to get up and speak or sing in front of a few 100 people. Personally I am glad it is all over. It is so so so much work. One day I would love to be able to just sit and watch. I think that in my whole life the only time I was able to just sit and watch was when I was in youth. Aside from that I have either been in Primary myself or served in Primary.

Yesterday we went to an Art Muesum where the kids had an art class, then they were able to create their own piece of art work. The lady who runs the class is amazing with the kids. First she has them sit down in the reception area and talks about what kind of art we will look at today then takes them upstairs and sits them down in front of several different art works. She explains about the art and asks them questions and lets the kids ask questions. It is really neat to hear some of the questions and answers the kids give. Then we head over to the art studio to create something similar to the artists we have looked at. Aarahi really likes this part. Yesterday they had to create something that would help people or the earth and he made an "understand-inator" He pretended he was helping Ammon but really.....

Today was Trunk or Treat night at church. Lili and Auron have been looking forward to this for a couple of weeks now. Thankfully they already had costumes they wanted to wear. Aarahi and I made Ammon a Dobby costume this morning. He wasn't so keen on the idea but he was easily convinced once he saw everyone else dressed up. It was such a lovely night, with so many families and youth putting in a lot of effort to make it special for the kids. Ammon was definitely flavour of the night. The kids scored big on lollies and junk, which Daddy will be so pleased about. They have eaten a fair amount of it already, so much so that I am considering if they really need dinner.

We drove out to our new house today and they are making good progress, it was nice to see work actually being done on it. This summer is forecast to be super cold which is such a blessing for us as we only have one air con unit in the house we are in now.

Auron has been coming out with some interesting vocabulary lately. Last night he told me that the pizza we were eating was "the most delectable pizza he has ever had" It has been fun having him come to us and ask us what certain words mean and then to have him using them. He has such an amazing imagination I can't wait until he can write fluently, I am sure he will write some amazing stories.

Primary Presentation 2015 and 2016

The Good the Bad and the Ugly

So it's been 4 months or so since I have written anything. I have continued to put it off over and over again because truth be told sometimes life is pretty miserable and I didn't want to have all the rubbish that has gone on recorded in our family year book this year. Today after church however one of our friends asked me why I hadn't blogged for so long and I said "nothing much to write about". His response, though he probably thought nothing of it, left me thinking all afternoon. He said its a journal, a history. He was right so along with the good I should also share the bad.

This past year, the last 8 months in particular it feels like our little family has been barely treading water. Every time we manage to take a breath we have something else thrown at us. We have been screwed over by family more times than I can even count this year. Over and over and over again. By people you would have willing run to the end of the world for. Things like this have made me question my own self worth and found me battling depression for several months. It has sent me back to a place I haven't seen in over 10 years and a place I don't ever want to be.

I have missed my Nana more than anyone could understand. There is not a day that goes by that I don't yearn to talk to her and hear her voice. I have struggled with it more this year that I did when she first passed away. I think it was because I knew to her, I was her special little girl and that I was irreplaceable and I was a part of her everything. Grand-Graeme has moved into a rest home a month or so ago and when I rang him on moving day it was closing the door on a book. I hung up the phone knowing that I had rung Nana's number for the last time. I cried for a good hour after.

So while I have struggled to be able to be strong enough to hold everyone else up I myself have come crumbling down. My family has suffered from my neglect of them. I am so blessed to have such a patient and loving husband who is forever forgiving and kind.

Hopefully we are coming out of the fog that we are in and we will have some time to breathe soon. While this doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of the past few months it does feel better to get it out.

BUT it's not been all bad. The concrete for our house is being poured this week. We have 90% of our accommodation booked and paid, for our month long adventure next year along with our flights and we are currently well under holiday budget! Our car is going to live to see another day...or year after a really good trip to the car doctor. It seems after 5 years they may have actually fixed the problem. Our relationship with our Heavenly Father has been strengthen and if there was ever a silver lining to a cloud then that has been it. Time and time again I have been shown how aware of me he is.

My favourite 4. In all the grubby, horiness